Bad Poetry

Posting this feels a little like I'm barfing onto the computer screen.  I hope it's like a hairball--if I express the pain often enough, maybe I'll eventually get this mess out of my insides.  I've been trying to follow the old "fake it 'til you make it" advice, but how much longer do I have to keep faking it before I truly feel okay again?

Gone Missing

Why do I suddenly feel you?
Feel your solidity envelope me
At the same moment that I'm feeling so
Hollow.
Empty.
Alone.
How can I admit that I miss you
When I was the one who turned away?

Unhappy and trapped

By your black and white absolutes,

Now unhappy and confused

By my shifting grey haze.

Argh. I really wanted to finish that last line with "my own shifting shades of grey," but it brings to mind "Fifty Shades of Gray" which is not something I want associated with this poem.  Bleah.  Is this day over yet?

Bloody uphill climbs.